Meanwhile, At Stately Wayne Manor...

Bruce Wayne cash (noun): An amount of money so vast that it allows the person who has it to do, essentially, whatever he or she desires. Usually used hypothetically.

"Man, I swear, if I had some serious Bruce Wayne cash, I would get myself an adult-sized baby carriage and just get rolled around all day."

Gotta Do Something On A Wednesday Night

wabbajack: [wah-buh-jak] - verb :

To apply the Internet to a given object or situation, causing a random and unpredictable effect; usually involving horse based pornography.

"I needed to figure out what to make for dinner so I wabbajacked it and I ended up watching a three hour documentary on the history of the rise of bureaucracy in Ancient China . . . and also some horse porn."


wabbajackin' off: [wah-buh-jak-in awf] - verb :

Making an activity or hobby out of applying the Internet to objects or situations to cause random and unpredictable effects; usually involving horse based pornography.

"I didn't have anything to do last night so I figured I'd spend the night wabbajackin' off. I started off googling 'crock pot recipes'. Next thing I know I'm at a bar in Jersey doing tall shots of cheap Mexican beer and tobasco . . . and watching horse porn."

FROM THE ASHES!!!!

Someone Fucked Over A Gypsy (phrase): An observation about a state of affairs so unlucky that it seems to be the result of some kind of mystical curse.

"In the last two weeks, Jim got into a car accident, found out his girlfriend used to be a dude, had his credit card stolen, and was evicted from his apartment. Someone fucked over a gypsy."

Walkin' Out the Cornfield

Walkin' Out the Cornfield (phrase): used to describe a person who looks as though they belong in another period of time, namely in the past. To have a historic look about you.

“Look at that little cutie over there, she sure is workin' that flapper dress & short bob. Girl be Walkin' Out the Cornfield in style!”

4th and Long

4th and long (noun): a reference to a play in American football, referring to a last-ditch attempt to salvage a recently ended romantic relationship, usually very shortly after its conclusion.

“I broke it off with April last week, but she invited me over tonight for dinner and told me to bring wine. I think she might be trying a 4th and long.”

"Takin' the back roads in Buttzville"

takin' the back roads in buttzville (phrase): a term for anal sex

"My boyfriend keeps trying to get me to take the back roads in Buttzville but I'm not really into it."

Comma, bitch!

Comma, bitch!: (exclamation) a phrase added after a report of exceedingly mundane activity, designed to make the content of the preceding statement seem more exciting, bad-ass, or impressive.

“This morning before work I stopped at Duane Reade to pick up some orange juice and Listerine. Comma, bitch!”

A Dingo's Age

A Dingo's Age: (ah DIN-goes ay-juh) (n.) a really long time.

"Man, I feel like I haven't seen that guy in a dingo's age. I think the last time we hung out was right before Thanksgiving."

The Sandwich Spot

The sandwich spot: [thuh sand-wich spot] - noun :

1) The bite taken from a sandwich in which all of the different flavor elements first coalesce into a unified triumph of deliciousity.

2) Any similar experience where all the differentiated pieces of an activity suddenly meet to become greater than the sum of the parts.

"The first six episodes of that show were all about character development, but on the seventh episode they really hit the sandwich spot."

Stretching Gay

Stretching Gay: (verb) the act of two platonic friends of the same gender behaving in such a manner that suggests they are a homosexual couple.

"Can you believe that Brandon and Tim went to see Duplicity while the rest of the guys went to a strip club? Those two are seriously stretching gay lately..."

Cans

Cans: [cah-nz] (noun) A phrase used for comforting someone who has had a bad day or calming a hysterical person. Inspired by Jack Traven in Speed:

"Hey, how you doing?"
"A 12 year old Ben Linus just brought me a chicken salad sandwich. How do you think I'm doing?"
"... cans."

The Grunch

grunch [gruhnch] - exclamation : Onomatopoeia for the sound that is made when Life kicks you in the metaphorical balls.

"I just sat on my girlfriend's birthday cake. GRUNCH!"

noun form:

Any event, action or consequence that would cause that sound to be made.

"I specifically told him to be careful when he sat down, but he still managed to sit on the cake. It was a solid grunch."


"Deliver the grunch!" - [di-liv-er thuh gruhnch] exclamation: Said in recognition of an oncoming grunch.

"I am gonna catch so much shit for sitting on this cake. Deliver the grunch!"

Go tit

Go tit: (verb) to become a lesbian; in the case of a gay man, to return to dating women. ("I am seriously done with men. I'm going tit.")

Dumping the Bunny

Dump the Bunny: (verb) to discard of, particularly in terms of food.  ("Phew!  This Chinese food has been sitting out for quite some time, I think it's time we dump the bunny.")

Working Hard/Hardly Working

Perfect storm: (noun) a situation at one's job in which there are so many separate things that need to be done that it becomes impossible to prioritize any single task as the most important; this usually results in no work getting done at all.


Flip it mode-time: (verb) to relax, but in an extremely goal-oriented manner. ("This weekend we are going to flip it mode-time, gentlemen: we're going to beat all eight Mega Man games and watch all the good Star Trek movies, or die trying.")

Sadsome

Sadsome: (adjective) any event, person, place or thing that is as sad as it is awesome. ("Sure, all those people at Circuit City are losing their jobs, but I got an XBox 360 for a hundred bucks. It was totally sadsome.")

On the Shelf

On the shelf: (adjectival phrase) term used to describe a person who has angered or slighted you to such a degree that you are considering terminating contact and/or friendship with them. ("This is the fourth time in two weeks that Tom was supposed to pick me up and 'forgot.' That dude is on the shelf.")

New Entries

Reverse Porn (n.) [ree-vurs' pohrn]: The act of 2 or more people engaging in sexual activity whilst a pornographic video depicting solo male or female masturbatory action airs in the same room, thus giving the impression that the pornographic actor/actress is pleasuring him/herself to your sexual encounters.

"I turned on a Tits McGee solo scene from "Lawrence of the Labia" while I was banging 3 Finnish dwarves. It was some sweet reverse porn, dude!"

You can put ice in it (phrase) [yoo kan puht eys in it]: A phrase uttered to call attention to the fact that someone has just repeated a phrase that was spoken a very short time ago, usually within the same conversation.

Person 1: "What's the name of that movie? The one with the big white dog that flies around?"
Person 2: "The Neverending Story."
Person 3: "Oh yeah! That's the one with that big dog that flies!"
Person 2: "Yeah, and you can put ice in it."

Messing Things Up

"Fucked royal" [fŭk d roi-uhl ] - adjectival phrase :

1) To be in a difficult or unfortunate situation to an extreme degree.

2) To be fucked to such a degree that you have been appointed king or queen of being fucked.

"Man, after Bush's administration the US's position in global politics is fucked royal."


"Stupid up" [stoo-pid uhp] - verb : to blunder, botch, fumble or otherwise screw up in a manner that is characteristically lacking in intelligence.

"Dominic totally stupided up the cake by using baking soda that he thought was flour."


"Pull a wicked ___ ollie" [poo l a wik-id ___ ol-ee] - verb : To trip, fall, fumble, walk into, smack into, drop something, break something, damage something or otherwise perform an action unintentionally, usually with a negative or unusual outcome.

"Did you see Quincy hit himself in the face with that spatula? He pulled a wicked pancake ollie."


"____ criticals you for fifty." [____ krit-i-kuhls yoo fawr fif-tee] - exclamation : An exclamation in response to an unfortunate event or series of events, meant to poke fun at a failing or an unlucky coincidence.

"Dan walked into a door. Door criticals Dan for fifty. Dan is dead. Would you like to respawn?"

Double Business

"Double ____ " [duhb-uh l] - adjectival phrase/noun (depending on use) : When used before a word of any type it is meant to suggest a value of twice the normal value of that which it modifies. Sometimes, it is used in such a way as to imply an even greater, but somehow unquantifiable, modification of value.

"Man, I am going to be double fucked if I can't get my car to start before work tomorrow."

"This pie is so good, it's like double pie."

"If that guy shows his face around here again, I'm not just gonna give him the business, I'll give him the DOUBLE business!"

"Double plus ____" [duhb-uh l pluhs] - adjectival phrase/noun (depending on use) : Meant to imply an increase in value superior to that of merely "double" the original value. Adds a definitive unquantifiable modifier to the previous sentiment of "double".

"Holy shit, this pie is double plus delicious! I believe I just had a flavor-splosion!"

"Double plus good/bad _____" [duhb-uh l pluhs goo d] - adjectival phrase/noun (depending on use) : For the rare situations when even "double plus" is insufficient to truly drive home the order of magnitude to which the value modification must be pushed to accurately represent a sentiment.

"I had been in a coma for three years until one day my doctor force fed me a bite of key lime pie that was so double plus good that I was not only revived but spontaneosly knew how to play the piano."